What About the What-ifs?
When life’s unexpected journey takes a sharp turn toward the unknown, we can find ourselves with nagging 'what-if' questions consuming too much space in our minds.
I wanted to hide
I woke to another day of questioning what would happen if lies and divisions were allowed to spread. I wanted to crawl back under the sheets and cover my head, but instead, I thanked Jesus for another day, grabbed the Yorkies, and headed downstairs to let them outdoors. The weight of knowing that untrue words were infiltrating previously safe spaces seemed to increase with each step toward the coffee counter. I wanted Jesus to fix it so badly. I wanted it to go away. I reminded the Lord that I had taken ownership of my part in the misunderstanding and asked for forgiveness. I reminded Him that I was small and she was impressively large and vital in this place. I reminded Him that I just wanted to run. Instead of permission to run, the weight just got heavier. I fumbled through my morning devotions and read the following chapters in my Year In the Bible, wanting, almost demanding that the Lord release me from this hold. I made it through my first appointment with a sense of joy as my client shared her breakthroughs and victories of the previous week. It was refreshing to see The Lord moving in significant ways for someone I cared about.
I wanted The Lord to answer
With a smile on my face and joy in my heart, I skipped into the bedroom to grab a sweater when I read the message. My heart sank. The weight was back. The tears welled up, and aloud I said, “Lord, what if people I love believe what she’s saying?” “What if relationships are strained and Your work is damaged?” “What if this halts the season I’ve enjoyed so much?” I was asking sincerely. I wanted to know the answers to these 'what-if' questions that had become more frequent and pressing over the weeks. As I finished the drill, the sweetest sound in my spirit arose. “What-if, Sherry?” “Yes, Lord. What if?” I responded. Again, “What-if, Sherry?” With emphasis, I repeated once more, “Yes, Lord. What if?”
The Still Quiet Voice said, “What if all those things happen, Sherry? Does that change anything between us?” My heart leapt. “You’re right, Lord. Even if all the what-ifs happen, nothing changes between You and me. I am still Your beloved. I am still safe in You. I am still the apple of Your eye. Oh, Lord, thank You for loving me and being so patient. Thank You for always being my Enough.” I lifted my head in worship and was reminded of Psalm 3:3b, “You, Lord, are the Lifter of my head.”
There is Purpose
When the what-ifs show up in life, we can boldly take them to the One who already knows the outcome of our current concerns. We can weigh them on the scale of His love and care, where they will always prove Him greater than all our unknowns. From our limited valley view, He faithfully begins to show us how He is already orchestrating our next path. So, when we come out of the sharp curve, the road behind us will have been purposeful.
In Christ, we can enjoy the journey.
